Relationships are risky. I explored a castle this weekend with a couple friends. It’s a risky castle. Since it’s on private property, there are no regulations about how it’s been welded or mortared together. It’s kinda wild, like the forest green we hiked through. Beautiful and dangerous and smile-forming.
I’ve been reading Donald Miller’s Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy. About relationships. And true intimacy and how to even do that.
“Relationships are a greater predictor of who we will become than exercise, diet or media consumption…I got pickier about who I spent time with. I wanted to be with people who were humble and hungry, had healthy relationships, and were working to create new and better realities in the world…
“I began to trust the slow and natural process of learning to love and be loved by another person…true intimacy is the food you grow from well-tilled ground…
“Was I willing to go into this thing having no idea what the finished product would look like?”
Some people run from relationships because of the risk. I’ve done it. And there is a time to guard our hearts and say no. But there is also a time to step forward, climb the castle stone staircase, and see what joys we find together.
There were steps on that castle climb that I questioned. Would they hold me or give way? I chose to trust I’d survive. But that view from the top? I was reminded I’m not meant to just survive, but yes, to thrive, to grow vigorously beautiful, into the image of my God, reflected right there in the flower. I’m meant to partake in that spreading of joy all around. We stopped right there on that trail, to admire the work of our Father, on that path of our shared lives.
Daring is to be beautifully brave, to say no to fear and a bold yes to the adventure of letting trustworthy people in close to you.
Great is an importance of long duration. “Noble or influential people collectively,” says my grandpa’s dictionary. Practicing the art of togetherness over time.
The invitation for intimacy is open. With our God. With our loved ones. It’s a risk, but for the joy set before me, it’s one I’m willing to take. This week, let’s get Scary Close.